The Kindermusik philosophy is: “Follow the Child.”
Simple, but not easy!
As parents, we’ve been conditioned to contain our children’s emotions: “Sit down. Come here. Stop that. Listen.”
But as the child is heard, and her wishes acknowledged, the parent spends less time chasing her, and more time observing and acting on the child’s cues. Consider this wisdom for all your relationships – not just the parent-child ones.
Awareness coach Mike George says most of us assimilated the belief that we can control what cannot be controlled, if our parents blamed or shamed us.
If so, we learned to believe our parents could control us, and many of us expected to exercise the same kind of control when we grew up.
At a deeper level, these beliefs rob us of responsibility for our own happiness.
As a parent, our job is to influence; but our most frequent mistake is to try and control. The sign this is happening? We react negatively when the child does not do what we want.
With practice, it becomes possible to enjoy our creative time together without insisting on an outcome. And when we do, it completely changes the relationship dynamic, and the quality of the experience. We shift from control to influence.